yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
