I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
How naked do you want me to be?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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