It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
