what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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