I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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