There is no way he is gay with that hair.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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