You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
