I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
