I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Yo dont text me then not text me
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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