so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
