I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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