Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
