super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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