I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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