hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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