Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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