Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
