Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
