ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
