You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
my vag is so smooth its legendary
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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