I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize