We're like a lot better than the average bears
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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