i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
just tell him i said nine months
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
