Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
