after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
