Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
