Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize