i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
