farters have to be the big spoon...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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