Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize