so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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