drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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