It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
