Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
