at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
