He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
