You smell like stripper and shame
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
