then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
porn star boner night. come get it.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
