Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
