i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
