he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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