I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
