i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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