It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
