I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
