what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
