so that wasnt chicken after all
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She's the barista slut.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
