Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
