Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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