Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
