If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize