I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
