In the future we'll all be gay
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
