Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
