Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
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