Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I did not marry a roomba.
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