i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
