So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize