Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
