i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
