So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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