Me. At least after what I've been through.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
