Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
