My boss' voice literally gives me gas
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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