I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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