we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
