No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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