pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
