i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I currently don't understand fingers.
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